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“You be the Magic Man, and I’ll be El Diablo.” “What’s that mean?” “I think it’s spanish for fighting chicken.”
“Dear baby Jesus, we thank you so much for this harvest: Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell”
“It’s like a tractor-beam of hotness”
“Are we about to get it on? Because I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm.”
“Its like looking up Yasmine Bleeth’s skirt”.
“I sent my application in to The Real World, and I’m pretty much putting all of my eggs in to that basket… the MTV basket.”
“98% of people will die sometime in their lives.”
“Now don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don’t you put that evil on me!”
“To quote the late, great Colonel Sanders, ‘I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.’”
“Watch out! I’ll windmill ya!”
“You can’t have two number ones because that makes eleven”
“Lucious I just want to share a little piece of personal information with you, I have a chubby right now, because this is the coolest experience of my life. I’m driving a race car!”
“I wanna go fast.”
“This sticker is dangerous and inconvient but I do like Fig Newtons”
“Okay, fine, but I’m still not going to call you Dad.” “Well what are you going to call me then?” “Okay, Professor Dickweed.”
“If you don’t chew Big Red, then @#% you”
“Yeah. Got it at target. It was on sale.” - Ricky Bobby giving the finger
“Hakuta matata, bitches.”
“Oh dear god….please don’t let the invisible flames hurt my good friend Ricky Bobby!”
“Shake and bake!”
“You’re either first, or you’re last. You taught me that.” “Why that don’t even make no sense boy. I was high when I said that. You can be second, third, fourth. . .hell you can even come in fifth.”
“Daddy, you made that grace your bitch!”
“Hi, I’m the girl…I’m Susan…I painted the car…we had sex”
“When I wake up I piss excellence”
“This is like Highlander.” “What’s Highlander?” “Its a movie.” “Is it good?” “It won the Academy Award for… best movie ever made”
“And Girard is sitting on the pole. Which is a statement of fact, and in no way related to his sexual orientation.”
“Oh and Ricky Bobby, I saw Highlander.. it’s shit”
“Oh yeah, and don’t try to snort the lucky charms”
“Here, I’ll put this knife in to pry out the other knife”
“I wanna thank little baby jesus, whos sitting in his crib watching the baby Einstein videos learning about shapes and colors”
The room is spinning… from all the… gayness.”
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