"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
Sue Murphy.

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
Jerry Seinfeld.

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label"
Mark Twain.

"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
Edgar Wallace.

"A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth."
Patrick Murray.

"This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two."
George Burns.

"I like children - fried."
W.C. Fields.

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry.

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers."
Daniel J. Boorstin.

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
Spike Milligan.

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | >> Next