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"They called it golf because all the other four letter words were taken."
Walter Hagen.
"In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete."
Yakov Smirnoff.
"I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won."
Muhammad Ali.
"Michael Chang has all the fire and passion of a public service announcement, so much so that he makes Pete Sampras appear fascinating."
Alex Ramsey.
"One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him."
Jeffrey Bernard.
"Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint."
Billy Connolly.
"When Peter Beardsley appears on television, daleks hide behind the sofa."
Nick Hancock.
"The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important."
Bobby Robson.
"We've lost seven of our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. It's a good job we didn't play the whole of Samoa."
Gareth Davies.
"Winning isn't everything: It's the only thing."
Vincent Lombardi.
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